A year ago, I was accepted into a nursing program. The day I got my acceptance call was the proudest I’ve been in some time…I danced in the middle of the physical therapy office I was in!
The first quarter went well. I maintained an A- average. I was voted one of two class leaders. I would run after class, to maintain my physical health. Then… my medications changed. I started to shake uncontrollably. I fainted. My eyesight blurred. I had to drop out – it was simply too much, with the physical symptoms and the stress of nursing school. I felt lost; nursing had been my dream for a very long time.
While I was in the hospital, I talked about my feelings of loss, my bitterness about dropping out. A friend – people tend to make friends quickly, in the hospital – looked at me and said, “you’d be an excellent nurse. What’s stopping you from going back?”
What was? I’m stable on my medications. Was it the stigma? The fear of being judged by others for my conditions? The fear of failure?
I don’t know – but I do know this. Last night, I put in an application to nursing school. We’ll see if I’m accepted. I will continue writing; writing one of the lights of my life. But I owe it to myself to pursue my dreams; to refuse to give up; to refuse to give in.